Introverted Confessions

Diary of the Falling Dominoes...

There are times when the dominoes begin to fall and there just is no stopping them...There are events that set inertia into motion...reasons why energy in motion stays in motion are less definable to a common wheel like me.  Maybe the dominoes were already beginning to tip, or the way they were grounded became eroded by the forces of true nature.   Vertigo does feel like a tipping domino right before the big fall ... I just didn't imagine they would all fall down right now!  We never do...That there would be no stopping the fall until the bottom of the familiar rabbit hole became bed rock bottom.   

Introverted Confessions...Broken Dominoes

a poem by Harlon Rivers

Sometimes you just have to wonder

how you could be so wrong about yourself

How could the way we are perceived by others

be such a stark contrast to how we see ourselves?

I always thought I was very conscious and sensitive

in my premonition of others feelings

Something learned by walking barefooted miles on rocky ground

My true nature is opting to instinctively protect

highly sensitive individuals that I love for just being 

Those like I, who have been rejected as a scapegoat of fear

Apparently, adorning too many misunderstood emotions

Or not enough glitzy over confidence that seems a teasing elixir

Extending  open arms to shelter a lost and lonely soul

seems like such natural act of compassion

Opening a lighted pathway into a warm and empathic moments respite

Perhaps those life long intentions were only an illusion,

A selfish effort to find a way to feel a sense of belonging

Somehow along the way my own intuitive instincts

must have become incoherent to me

Mistaken by what seemed to be transparent reflections

in the mirror eclipsing the vivid book of my mind

Dejected self loathing fists shattered the lucid mirror in frustration

The broken reflection became blinding in the lurid light of truth

The cracked splintered mirror pieces that remain

now illuminate ambiguous disappointment

Only reflecting the shattered, opaque casting

of a dark unrecognizable image of what once was

Obscure and vague refraction's penetrate deep within

the hollow uprooted dark shadow of who I thought I was…

Author's notes:

Falling dominoes are capable of unraveling a life tapestry as if one  interwoven thread that bonds all others was tugged at just the right moment when all stars were aligned in the universe. You wouldn't know it by looking at a domino, with "vertigo eyes" or not...

One step forward and two steps back.  I am spinning like emotional dust in a dark tempest storm, no longer influenced by gravity, no longer in control of my destiny.  When dominoes fall in darkness does anybody see?  If you keep coming here you will see that somebody feels what is only metaphorically seen...You will see the introspective "Diary of the Falling Dominoes" document the unraveling tapestry of an illusion of a life once transparent evolving into a form opaque as dominoes...

I  This journey and subject needs to be brought into the light...If we cannot be loved as is because of our imperfections, I am willing to personally sacrifice my privacy in an attempt to advocate for others unable to speak up out of darkness.   So that others who suffer may find hope though others compassion and understanding.  Life is a long road with many twists, turns and bumps in the road.  Nothing is inevitable...

Follow the falling dominoes to the right top sidebar where the conversation will continue over time...Thank you for reading.

http://harlonrivers.blogspot.com/p/oct-1st-oct-6thdiary-of-falling.html