Destiny ... Merciful Surrender to the Weight of Gravity

This piece is a tribute to a traumatic life lived that could no longer be saved no matter how hard I tried… It has taken a few years to write something about someone I did not know until our fated intersection just upriver from my boat ; that April 21^st day at the river will be a moment never forgotten … A cathartic attempt to walk an understanding  mile in another’s shoes .  Sometimes our life changes so quickly we don’t really even comprehend how drastically a moment changes everything .... This narrative prose poem is based on a true life event .

Major depression is a debilitating illness that lurks below the surface often going undetected by loved ones .  You never know what inner turmoil lies within the outer cover of a book at a casual glace .   This cathartic writing is another attempt to heal from a past moment ; The aftermath of those left behind in the wake of tragedy at that exact spot , at that instant on an April 21st spring day 7 years ago . Changes at so many levels in so many lives, altering my personal journey forevermore …











The Weight of Gravity

Standing on the edge of oblivion
Dark circled eyes span the distant horizon ;
visible signs of an unsettled agony
tremble through the veiled ache within .
Knowing he had tried a lifetime
to cast off  this body’s  cage
Shed the invisible skin only he could feel
 
Racing thoughts suffer
as scrambled search for glimmers of hope’s shining light
fade into an unrecognizable hollow stare
All the while instinctively trying to regain focus
through the distracting fog and haze
of the inevitable price to be paid.
Thoughts of waiting here forever wane
as this haunting loneliness,
won’t abandon like so many before

Struggling for balance,
teetering on the brink of helpless surrender,
vulnerable thoughts of ever belonging faded
with the final concluding memories;
That fated moment when the last rumination
of physical human touch vanished
like a smoldering wick without wax
Smoke rings rising to dissipate,
disappearing into an untouchable broken dream...

Never really understanding
whether destiny carved the pathway
of the long and twisting road
leading to this defining crossroad
Or is it the preordained instant of forgiving submission
Doomed from the very beginning …
There were many rivers to cross
since the age of innocence ;
jumping off cliffs into the soothing summer waters
with the faith to fly like a bird,
soaring into the great abyss.

Now he stood frozen ;
stranded in an awkward moment
of confused trepidation
Daunting indecision overwhelms
a distorted perception
Essence… praying to the spirits of the universe
for the strength to understand the nebulous lines
between destiny and merciful surrender.
Asking for the strength to accept
that which could no longer be changed

At the cusp, high above
a waiting river too wide to cross …
Rolling out to sea …
grasping a precious journey’s completed circle
back to begin where life started
Physically too tired to reach
for another unknown distant shoreline .
Love is a river of tears
better crossed where peaceful waters flow

“ Its only water, I want it washing over me ,
Washing over me ”…

©  2012~2013 … Harlon Rivers  …All Rights Reserved

"That Day at the River"

The following narrative is a more complete description of the events of “That Day At the River” Although not graphic it does talk about what happened in the aftermath and may be triggering if you are prone to the sensitive emotions with an attempt at understanding thoughts of trying to save a passing life…
With those thoughts in mind, it has been removed from this page and is linked below to as a separate chapter of my Diary of the Falling Dominoes journals found here:
http://melancholyrivers.blogspot.com/p/this-piece-is-tribute-to-traumatic-life.html

Thank you for reading...