Word Whispereer

Monday, October 1, 2012

Introverted Confessions

Diary of the Falling Dominoes...






There are times when the dominoes begin to fall and there just is no stopping them...There are events that set inertia into motion...reasons why energy in motion stays in motion are less definable to a common wheel like me.  Maybe the dominoes were already beginning to tip, or the way they were grounded became eroded by the forces of true nature.   Vertigo does feel like a tipping domino right before the big fall ... I just didn't imagine they would all fall down right now!  We never do...That there would be no stopping the fall until the bottom of the familiar rabbit hole became bed rock bottom.   


Introverted Confessions...Broken Dominoes

a poem by Harlon Rivers





Sometimes you just have to wonder
how you could be so wrong about yourself
How could the way we are perceived by others
be such a stark contrast to how we see ourselves?
I always thought I was very conscious and sensitive
in my premonition of others feelings
Something learned by walking barefooted miles on rocky ground

My true nature is opting to instinctively protect
highly sensitive individuals that I love for just being 
Those like I, who have been rejected as a scapegoat of fear
Apparently, adorning too many misunderstood emotions
Or not enough glitzy over confidence that seems a teasing elixir
Extending  open arms to shelter a lost and lonely soul
seems like such natural act of compassion
Opening a lighted pathway into a warm and empathic moments respite

Perhaps those life long intentions were only an illusion,
A selfish effort to find a way to feel a sense of belonging
Somehow along the way my own intuitive instincts
must have become incoherent to me
Mistaken by what seemed to be transparent reflections
in the mirror eclipsing the vivid book of my mind

Dejected self loathing fists shattered the lucid mirror in frustration
The broken reflection became blinding in the lurid light of truth
The cracked splintered mirror pieces that remain
now illuminate ambiguous disappointment
Only reflecting the shattered, opaque casting
of a dark unrecognizable image of what once was
Obscure and vague refraction's penetrate deep within
the hollow uprooted dark shadow of who I thought I was…


Author's notes:

Falling dominoes are capable of unraveling a life tapestry as if one  interwoven thread that bonds all others was tugged at just the right moment when all stars were aligned in the universe. You wouldn't know it by looking at a domino, with "vertigo eyes" or not...
One step forward and two steps back.  I am spinning like emotional dust in a dark tempest storm, no longer influenced by gravity, no longer in control of my destiny.  When dominoes fall in darkness does anybody see?  If you keep coming here you will see that somebody feels what is only metaphorically seen...You will see the introspective "Diary of the Falling Dominoes" document the unraveling tapestry of an illusion of a life once transparent evolving into a form opaque as dominoes...

I  This journey and subject needs to be brought into the light...If we cannot be loved as is because of our imperfections, I am willing to personally sacrifice my privacy in an attempt to advocate for others unable to speak up out of darkness.   So that others who suffer may find hope though others compassion and understanding.  Life is a long road with many twists, turns and bumps in the road.  Nothing is inevitable...

Follow the falling dominoes to the right top sidebar where the conversation will continue over time...Thank you for reading.

http://harlonrivers.blogspot.com/p/oct-1st-oct-6thdiary-of-falling.html

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

My Dearest Harlon... I am not faint of heart.. and I applaud your courage.. I married into a family with genetic dysfunction.. Bipolar.. Anxiety.. Depression.. all familiar companions on this journey through life.. I have tagged along with you so far.. I see no reason to turn tail and run now..

olla

Anonymous said...

Olla

You have a beautiful, encouraging soul. What a blessing for Harlon.